Fudin.
18

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Amirah Lee
Shikin

September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010

Design: doughnutcrazy
Image: sxc.hu
Brushes: masterjinn
Stocks: I II III

Somebody is having a really expensive alcohol drink, but in else where somebody is drying from dehydration. Some where on earth,someone is celebrating somebody's birth. But else where someone is crying as they lost someone dear to them.

When there's someone having a break up, someone else is falling in love or in love again.

Sometimes i don't know if this would occur to me, but i just have to try and see. Cause i'm not going to regret from not trying it. I won't know untill i try.

What does it means when you cannot sleep?

1. you're still too high.
2. you're thinking too much
3. you're missing somebody

it could be all of the above. but i think for me, it would be the 3rd one.
there's so much to be said. But with a broken heart, you won't be able to hear me
when i call your name.

'Maybe' is a really pain in the ass word. cause you don't know the exact thing. it gives
you hope but in the same time it gives you false hope.

maybe you're talking about me, but i learnt not to have high hopes on 'maybe's'

p.s i really miss you

today the moon smiled at me. i smiled back. but i wonder why 'it' smiled at me. is it a sign for something? or 'it' is telling me something?

still it's maybe. but if don't know if it is.

Heroes is out! How i met your mother too!! Finally i got something to look forward to every week (:

maybe it's true. its just maybe. but you're not showing that it is at all.

Just came back from bugis with cousins (:

and cannot sleep now.. how sad right??? haiz... always cannot sleep early nowadays :/
sian... and worst, training is in 14 hrs time.

making myself busy so i won't think too much. good good (:

maybe maybe maybe??

when my phone vibrate then comes the vintage msg tone, i would see *1 message receieve*. but who could be? who could be msging me? sometimes i just wish it was you. Then reality pull me away from my fantasy.

why i keep going back to my past? it was a hard love someone said. But i feel that it isn't. When you fall in love, that person will the most perfect person in the world.


maybe... just maybe...

What a day yesteday! i had fun with my many many cousins on a lorry (:
went to many places and met many people who i have no idea that i'm related to them x/

but how freakishly sucks when my head kept thinking!!! its really irritating. It's like
everywhere i would go, i will think about it. Even when i woke up 10min ago, i think
about it.

Dear brain,
what are you trying to do to me?? i wonder and i want to know why.
Please stop doing it cause it cannot be change anymore. Possibility finding zero.
Cause wishes cannot be granted by my brain. Can only be granted by magical things.


21/09/09 marked.

Everyday i patiently wait,
i feel like a fool but i do anyway.

Jodoh itu terbagi 3

Pertama, Jodoh dari Syaitan.

Kamu berdua berkenalan berpegang tangan dan terus buat maksiat akhirnya dia mengandung. Baru kamu bernikah.

Kedua, Jodoh dari Jin.

Kamu berdua berkenalan. Kamu Sikakan dia. Tapi dia tak sukakan kamu. Kamu bomohkan dan shihirkan agar dia sukakan kepada kamu dan berdua bernikah.

Akhirnya, Jodoh dari Tuhan.

Kamu berdua berpandangan mata. Terus menusuk kekalmu. Kamu terus meminang dia. Dan dia terima pinangan kamu. Dan kamu berdua bernikah. Insyallah berkakallan hingga akhir hayat. Itulah di katakan Syurga Cinta.

i care..

i hope going to get sleeping disorder :/ shucks!! been sleeping very late. and wed, didn't sleep till 6am ): haiz... then worst, woke up at 10am.. and got training.
why i think too much uh?? tsk tsk! need to knock my head really hard one time.

But sometimes its just good to know that i think (:

We are soo ridiculous funny. The thing that we remember the most are the bad things. The only time that we remember the good things is when that thing is not there anymore. but why ? ....

Do you know that you're a lucky guy to have her? She is a very unique girl that you can never find anywhere else. And i can bet with you on that. She never fail to make me forget about all of my worries. And best of all, she never fail to make me smile. But you know sometimes i just have to hide that smile away.

You're a very luck guy (:

I wanted someting sweet last night. And yes i did receive something sweet. It wasn't a food nor it is a drink. It was a message (:

Sometimes if you have something to ask somethings that would end either really good or really bad, what would you do? It just takes the most demoralizing syllabus in english dictionary to make you feel soo rejected. No. How can a 2 Alphabet make you feel very depressing. hahaha!

But this is the part where you realise that it meant to be. Maybe not now that you wil realise it, but you will realise it in the future. And when the time again to ask something which would turn out both extream end of feelings, and it is answered with the most encouraging word in english language. Yes. You will be the happiest man on earth in that moment.

That is why these "no" will turn out to be a "yes". Maybe not tommorow, next week or 5 years down the road. But it will happen. No doubt about it (:

Sometimes curly hair just suits people with their round face.But not too round. Too straight of a hair make the person face look longer :/ But if you have a round chubby face with a straight hair, go for a dress (: It really look nice on you. hahaha!

And no no no, i am not stalking you. I just know that its a dress. Lucky guess ?? x)

why am i a stalker to some people???? i just tend to stare blanks sometimes (:

Right now as im typing on this blog, i have no idea what should i blog about
Life has been smooth lately. I got hit by reality and i realise many things about my life.
Good friends show many pathway that i should look towards to.

Sometimes i just need longer time to move on. And that time is actually 2 days back (:
I know now what i want and what i need in my own life. I'm focus.
You know what world?! There are many others who need to be care(:
and i shall give it to them. Especially to all my good friends!

Sick sick!! ahhhhhh! headache like one kind! Flu like many kind!!!
BUT feeling better! (:

That is the way you left me and i'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
no happy ending
This is the way that we love,
like it's forever.
We will live the rest of our life,
but just not together (:

There will be someone out there who will care about you.
After what happened, god knows what's going to happen afters.

You can never forget about the person who you care the most. No matter how much damage is done, you will still care.

Untill...

In 7 days god make this world.
In just 7 seconds, i fucked up mine

How stupid can i be? Why can't i just think the possible and not the impossible?

Its not me anymore. Why do i keep thinking about you? why do i still care about what you do?

i have to be realistic. She isn't thinking about you anymore. She not talking about you anymore. Everything that she say is not about you.

but why i feel that she is..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gulk2Gz4UrQ

this link will lead you to a music video that i love very much. Its a malay music video.

Its about a guy still hold that hope for love. He hope that he can live for 1000 years to wait for that love to come. He would chase for that love no matter how far it will go.

But would life let him live for 1000 years? Would his body let him chase for that love that far?

He believe that it is love. and this love is forever. He truly belief in it. He will lose that hope for that love.

But is it really possible? I was like him before. Hope what kept me going. Kept me believing that there is still chance for us to be together again.

Something stole that hope away from me. Reality. It stab me right into my heart. And left me there thinking.

You have somebody to like or even love now. And i don't think whatever is on your blog is about me. That is why i deleted my blog.

As for me.. I have my friends to keep that sad side of me away from me.

Cheers!

Today i went to Pulau Ubin for cycling with my training group. It was hilariously fun!(: hahaha! Got blood here and there. But it was fun. Then went return, i got to realise that i knee was bleeding really badly :/ hahahaha! i just went "OH! i got blood on my knees!!" then went to shower and went "ouch!" all the way.

Went home after accompany my juniors to lunch :/ slept right after i reach home.

here is the funny part!! i woke up, and straight away took my drink that i bought before i got home. Open it up. and drink it! cause i heard the radio saying the verse of the quran and i thought it was break fast already X) and my whole family was really shock that i drank infront of them.

Then i ask "why?" then i started to realise that is not time to break fast yet :/ they all laugh at me as i talk nonsense at the dining table and i didn't realise it untill now ://
haiz....

im still tired ):

Why sill moaning about it when it can't be change anymore? Why do i still need to have this feelings that i've been feeling for a very long time?
If the pieces doesn't fit anymore, why forcing that piece to be fit into the picture? There is no use in trying anymore. But why do i still care about this thing?
I've try to move on, try to avoid thinking about it. Trying my best to just have this anger feeling inside just to make myself feel better. But why am i not?

It just that i still do care about you. But i can't make myself to think that nothing happen. Cause the memeory keep coming back when i care. And it hurts. That is reality. I put my heart and soul to it. Make that person as if shes was part of my life. But i guess it was a mistake.

It took me almost 2 years to start talking to amanda. Start being friends with her. In that period of time, i cared for her. But it hurt still.

I may be your special friend, but i can't do the same for you. Cause its just not the same anymore.. It just not meant to be.

You enjoy your life, and i'll enjoy mine (:

Something is wrong with the blogger thingy :/ going to edit it soon!

Hey fudin here (:
This will be my new blog. New me (:
and whole lot of new swinging on this blog!!
Not many people know about this blog. if you're reading this, you the lucky few who got to know about it (:

so this blog will remind me of nothing but me(:
or maybe a new person into my life!

goodnight..